Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
