oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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