i dont even know how to be here
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
