Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
