you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
