conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
there is glitter all over my balls
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
