sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
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We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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