hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
