so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
