God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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