i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
my poor anus
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
