I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
