My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
sarcasm needs its own font
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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