I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
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She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
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WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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