Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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