watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
