Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
