How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
