Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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