Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
