Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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