We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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