I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
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We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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