i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize