His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
