You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
