worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
