upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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