drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
that's an acceptable place to lick
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
