Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
