call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
