Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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