Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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