once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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