Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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