sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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