Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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