dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
