I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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