Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
and she was petting her beer can
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
