So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
