just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
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Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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