How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
