i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
tonight lets celebrate not being married
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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