my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
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Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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