Joe is yelling at the trees again.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
