i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
