Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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