Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Found your dick twin last night
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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