I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Enjoy the penises
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
