I must be too annoying 4 u.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I look better un-naked...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
