Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
