Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
