we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
