You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
