I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
