he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
