that's an acceptable place to lick
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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