It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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