i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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