Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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