i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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